JP writes:
This... thing... is on the market for a cool 5 mil. And nothing says Espana (or is it Italia... I don't even think the building knows) than that sheet metal automated gate.
Remember folks: Bad architecture is a crime against your eyes.
07 December 2010
Bad Architecture: Sea Point
Regular Sea Point reader JP sent in a link to this monstrosity:
JP writes:
Remember folks: Bad architecture is a crime against your eyes.
JP writes:
Remember folks: Bad architecture is a crime against your eyes.
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11 comments:
This is the exact colour of 'morning after' vomit, sort of an insult to the lowest colour of them all ... Peach. It has specuvestor at the hight of the boom written all over it. Now probably trying to sell for not a cent more than what they bought it for 5 years ago. I don't think people understand that the Spanish 'villa' type accomodation only works in idiot tourist destinations like Seychelles, or Caribbean. I like to think people who travel to South Africa are looking for something a little more exotic and are well traveled. If this sort of thing works and I'm proven wrong, well, then I'm moving to Vietnam, or Kazakhstan. Hows the market in Kazakhstan?
Anon, never underestimate the aesthetic retardation of the global public. I believe that millions - perhaps billions - are functionally blind. They literally don't see what's in front of them because they're too busy projecting their own needs onto the world.
The cult of Jennifer Aniston applies: take a plain girl with a big nose and eyes slightly too close together, give her perfect hair and perfect make-up, and an entire culture thinks she's a great beauty. Likewise, take a brick shoebox, slap in some pillars and a patio and people see La Dolce Vita.
It's not even an issue of taste. Taste implies that you can see object X, compare it to object Y, and decide which one you prefer. Most humans point their eyes at object X, see a manifestation of their own personal desires, and then ignore Y as irrelevant.
Meanwhile here's an interview with Jacques "Nobody could see this coming" Du Toit: http://www.moneyweb.co.za/mw/view/mw/en/page299364?oid=520040&sn=2009+Detail&pid=295683
Does it have a sea view? That's all that matters in Sea Point you know.
This reminds me of "Crack Shack or Mansion"
http://www.crackshackormansion.com/part2.html
Does anyone else think the mega mansions going up in upper Clifton are a blight on the landscape too? They are simply too large and too hideous to comprehend. Soon the whole of Nettleton Rd is going to look like one large compound of Stefan Antoni dickswinging.
Camps Bay and Clifton were once charming suburbs. Now everything looks like the offspring of Case Study No. 22 (1960's Modern US house by Pierre Koenig) mated with a Philip Johnson glass house. I never know if the local design is by Arthur Antoni or Stefan Quinton, but the houses always seem too large for their erf size.
I managed to find pictures of the inside of this place on tripadvisor.com. Needless to say the outside may actually be more attractive....
I agree, Clifton looks horrendous nowadays and Camps Bay is rapidly losing it's charm. View blocking boxes are going up everywhere. And the irony is they have these huge glass windows overlooking the sea ... but ... if you drive around in the afternoon you will see most of these windows are curtained shut because the sun shining directly into them is turning the rooms into one big furniture melting furnace.
It is all so tacky and fake.
I love how the tacky conspicuous consumption in Camps Bay and Clifton has started attracting the Channel O demographic: loud young black kids with pimped rides, thumping woofers, etc. The outrage is almost palpable: crusty old white folks paid a trillion bucks to pretend they were living in Monaco, only to discover they're living South Central LA. Love it.
Recently had a meeting in Camps Bay with a big shot movie exec from the UK, the sort who does business lunches with BAFTA judges at Canary Wharf. He'd been told that he HAD to see Camps Bay, that all the movers and groovers hung out there, and he found it hilarious. He laughed out loud at Cafe Caprice and said something like "Haven't any of these rubes seen 'Valley of the Dolls'?"
BC, would that be the same UK movie exec that sold his pad there for 60 bar just the other day?
Maybe he's just rubbing salt in the wounds of Dr India that fell into the trap. I mean seriously, how many of them can there be? Dr India is probably going to send his kids over to piss out pink cocktails from Caprice on the beach this Summer. Cruzing down the stretch in Rent-A-Ferrari with the latest Bollywood track is the order of the day. No thanks, even the drum circles and Wavescape Film Festival has become so commercialized and tacky, I'll be giving it all a skip. I'm tired of having to walk for 30 min in the heat; fight amongst the homosexuals, transsexuals, metrosexuals, and anythinggoessexuals for a spot in the sand. Then freeze my balls off in the sea.
Camps Bay and Clifton isn't all they've screwed up, have you seen Big Bay lately? It went from a surfers hut selling ice-cream and fudge (the things childhood memories are made of), to Moyo and Pick n Pay overnight. The weight of this mall has caused the water-level below ground to rise, resulting in Big Bay beach being a permanent thin layer of putrid stagnant rotting water. Result = Loss of Blue Flag status and the only people willing to visit are die hard surfers, Vaalies that don't know better, and winged Fords from Parow ... because it's a beach, and it's the closest.
I visit the beach often so I'll leave you guessing which one of the above I belong to. The property there has virtually flat-lined. You see the odd renter or holiday pleb there but for the most part, a better percentage of the units are still with the developer, empty. Needless to say they still want 1.5 - 3.5 bar for the pleasure of having a parking lot as a view, and the sweet smell of rot combined with restaurant fat to wake up to in the morning.
The ad describes it as "Tuscan", bwahahaha, but I live in that Tuscan heaven called Joburg, and I've never seen anything as grotesque as this. Looks like it was commissioned by Top Billing. Either way this "magnificent estate" is bound to be featured on that programme real soon, and we can all scoff our heads off, yay.
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